fred_figglehornfandomcom-20200215-history
Fred Has a Vocal Lesson
Fred Has a Vocal Lesson is the 40th episode of the Classic FRED YouTube series, uploaded onto the Fred YouTube channel on September 3, 2009. Description Fred wins a contest to have a lesson with an awesome vocal coach. Transcript Fred: Hey, it’s Fred! And you'll never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever guessed what just happened! Oh my garnet, yesterday on the radio, they said that the vocal coach of Heidi Montag, I mean, Heidi Montag, you heard her song. She has some true singing talent. So yeah, her vocal coach is coming to my town and she's gonna teach one lucky kid vocal lessons. So yeah, you're supposed to send in a video of you singing so I sent in a video of me lip sinking and they thought is was really me singing and they picked me! YEAH!!! (camera zooms to his face) I mean, I know it wasn't really me singing. (screen cuts to Fred) Fred: But just like my mom said about the social workers always trying to get into our house, what they don't know about our family, won't hurt 'em at all. It really won't. So yeah, she's coming over in a little bit and I'm just gonna blow her away with my singing abilities. Oh yeah! You've heard me sing. You know what I'm talking about. Obviously, my voice is already perfect. I mean, you're probably wondering, "Why do you need lessons, Fred? You're... you're amazing." But, I mean, she's gonna put me up one more level above perfection. It's just gonna be... amazing. (in the kitchen) Okay, well, from past experience, I've learned that if you're ever gonna sing in front of a whole bunch of people or anything, just one person, you have to drink some straight up mustard. I mean, it really just soothes your vocal cords and make some perform at their highest. I mean, it's proven. It's scientifically proven. Here it goes! (cool music plays while Fred squirts the mustard in his mouth and shakes his head to make his vocal cords looking good, cool music ends) Fred: Oh, my vocal cords feel real good right about now. (in the living room) So yeah, I'm just really ex... Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Hey, Fred. How are you doing? Fred: Hi! Have you ever heard of a doorbell? You just walked right in? That's kinda rude! Ha! Just kidding! Ha! Oh boy. Ha! Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Okay, Fred. Well, um, to get started, um, can you play the piano? Fred: Yeah, yeah, of course I can play the piano. Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Oh, that's great! Well, just sit down and play a song and sing along and we'll see how it goes. Fred: Okay, I'll get right down to it. (screen cuts to Fred sitting in front of the piano) Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Okay. Start whenever you're ready, Fred. Fred: Okay, I'll start right now! (winks and starts playing the piano with his fingers, sings) One time, I saw a guy get brutally murdered! (plays a little harder, sings again) It was SO sad! (plays even more harder with his hands, sings again) I hate murders! (plays the last 2 notes gently with his fingers, stops singing) (screen cuts after Fred had finished his song) Fred: So what'd you think, vocal teacher? Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Um, well... (laughs nervously) ...um, so you said you played other instruments. What are these other instruments? Fred: (picks up the dog horn) Well, um, I just called this the dog horn, and you blow right into its right front, it makes a beautiful noise. (blows through the dog horn) Yeah. It's pretty good. You're jealous, aren't you? I can tell that you're jealous! Ha, ha! Just kidding. (laughs nervously) (screen cuts to Fred on the couch) Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Okay, Fred. Well, now I'll teach you some very good vocal techniques. Fred: Whatever you say, vocal teacher. You're just so talented. I love you! (laughs nervously) Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Oh, Fred! Well... well, Fred, um, the first thing we're gonna do is just try to hold a note as long as possible with the proper breath support. Fred: Okay, I'll do it in a jiffy. (sings one note) OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (his note gets weak and coughs) Okay, that one didn't count. My... I was coughing. So... Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Um, Fred, I'm very sorry to say this, but... from the singing technique you've showed me, I'm pretty sure that wasn't your singing in that video you send, I mean, I'm not trying to be mean at all. Fred: (confused) Um, what are you trying to say? Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Well, all I'm trying to say is... Fred: (interrupts) How about you just DON'T say what you're gonna say it? Because I know that you're just jealous. I'm a good singer! I know it, I've done talent shows, I got in like 2nd to last place but, you know, people are jealous of my singing! In this world, if you're successful, people are jealous! It's just the way it goes! Ha, ha! So you can just leave right now, miss! I teach "Heidi Montag" because... you just aren't worth the time. Leave right now if you think I'm not good enough. Wow, just leave! Vocal Coach: (offscreen) Um, well, I'm just gonna leave then because I vocal teach Heidi Montag so I'm too good for this. Fred: Okay! Go have fun! (angrily yells) Go vocal teach Heidi Montag for all! I can't! Bye! (screen cuts to Fred after the vocal coach leaves) Fred: (calmly, to everyone) Wow! That girl needs an attitude check. Did you see her freak out? I mean, wow! So not worth the time. I mean, I guess I just learned that next time, maybe I should just send in my real singing. So yeah, just who really cares about her anyways? And I have to go. So talk to you later! Peace out, home dawg! (Fred) Characters * Fred Figglehorn * Vocal Coach (voice only) Category:Videos